.Editor's Note: The complying with is actually the content of a letter coming from Trip 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reflecting on the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't written quite regarding specifics of the objective during the course of the month I have actually been actually listed here, mainly for 2 factors: the 1st being actually that there has actually been actually really little time to perform that type of creating, and the second thing is since I'm uncertain exactly how comfy I am sharing thoughts I share with friends and family with the rest of the globe.Effectively, obviously the planet transformed today. What I point out or perform is actually quite small reviewed to the value of what occurred to our country today when it was assaulted by ... through whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I think. Tough to know at whom to drive our anger and concern ...I had only finished a number of duties this morning, the best time-consuming being the physical exams of all crew members. In a personal chat complying with that, the trip specialist told me they were actually having an incredibly poor time on the ground. I possessed no tip ...He described the scenario to me as greatest he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually thrown for a loop, after that terrified. My very first idea was that this wasn't a genuine chat, that I was actually still listening to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It merely didn't seem to be possible on this incrustation in our nation. I could not even think of the particulars, also prior to the information of further destruction started being available in.Vladimir came by fairly swiftly, noticing that one thing extremely significant was actually being actually reviewed. I waved Michael in to the module too. They were actually additionally impressed and also stunned. After we authorized off, I attempted to clarify to Vladimir and also Michael as greatest I could possibly the prospective size of the show of horror in downtown New york and at the Government. They plainly understood and also were really considerate.I browsed the World Map on the personal computer to observe where over the world we were as well as observed that our company were actually happening southeast away from Canada and also would certainly be actually overlooking New England in a few moments. I whized around the terminal until I located a window that would provide me a view of NYC as well as nabbed the local camera. It happened to become a video camera, and also I was actually appearing south from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to possess a weird blossom to it at the bottom of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the metropolitan area. After going through one of the newspaper article our experts only got, I think our team were examining NY around the amount of time of, or even quickly after, the crash of the 2nd tower. Just how terrible ...I swept the electronic camera the whole time the East Coastline to the south to view if I can see any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing showed up.It was quite tough to think of work after that, though our company had some to perform, yet on the next track we traversed the US more southern. All three of us were actually functioning 1 or 2 cams to try to get scenery of Nyc or Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no specific resource can be seen. It all appeared awesome coming from 2 to 3 hundred kilometers away. I can not envision the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Besides the emotional effect of our nation being actually tackled as well as countless our citizens and maybe some buddies being killed, the absolute most frustrating sensation being where I am actually is one of solitude.Following day ... I presume the fatigue and also psychological tension acquired the greatest of me. I couldn't keep awake and also remain to compose. Today was still complicated, however we began acquiring additional details, plus we possessed the respect of talking directly with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, who guaranteed us that the ground crews would certainly remain to operate and guarantee our safety, in addition to the risk-free function of the Place. We likewise heard from our Manager, Mr. Goldin, that added that the companions in the Program are actually all completely devoted to carrying on secure procedures as well as assistance. These were never ever concerns for me. I recognize all these folks! The ground crews have been actually very encouraging, incredibly understanding of the influence of the news, as well as have actually made an effort to be as useful as feasible. They have actually all been actually really professional as well as focused though I can not envision the interruption of the kind of headlines can be found in as well as the idea that federal government properties could be vulnerable. They never ever bypassed a beat, also when moving control centers. And a team of senior employees and also pals provided us a pretty in depth briefing on what was known and also what was being actually carried out in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually quite helpful as well as sort of all of them to do in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has additionally been supporting and also valuable, trying to uplink newspaper article when our personal resources were inoperable, and pointing out kind words ...My crewmates have actually been terrific, also. They know it's been actually a tough time for me and also the folks on the ground, and also they've made an effort to become as even keeled and valuable as feasible. Michael even fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for dinner. And they give me a lot of area to presume when I needed it. They are actually incredibly supportive as well as naturally shocked at whoever would certainly perform this.I recognize numerous people in Washington, so many people who journey to DC as well as NYC, plenty of who are actually pilots, that I really felt sure I would certainly receive a minimum of a couple of parts of bad news over the following few days. I acquired the initial one today when I found out that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that reached the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I encountered Chic during the course of plebe summer months when our company resided in the D&B with each other, and also our team possessed tons of classes all together. I can't imagine what he should of experienced, and right now I listen to that he may possess risen even more than our company can even think of by perhaps preventing his plane from being the one to deal with the White Home. What a dreadful loss, but I make certain Chic was battling bravely throughout. As well as splits don't flow the same precede ...It's tough to explain how it really feels to become the only American fully off the earth at a time such as this. The feeling that I must exist with all of you, coping with this, helping in some way, is actually frustrating. I know that our company perform the threshold (or even past) of a horrible change in the past of the globe. A lot of traits are going to certainly never be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Certainly not simply for the 1000s as well as hundreds of people directly affected by these horrible actions of terrorism, yet possibly for we all. Our experts will find ourselves really feeling differently regarding lots of points, consisting of perhaps room exploration, however.It is actually awful to view smoke cigarettes pouring coming from wounds in your very own nation coming from such an excellent vantage point. The duality of performing a space capsule dedicated to improving everyday life on the earth as well as watching life being ruined through such deliberate, horrendous process is actually jolting to the subconscious, no matter who you are actually. And also the know-how that every thing are going to be various than when our team launched due to the time our team land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our country as well as in our leadership that our team will certainly do every little thing feasible to better shield her as well as our loved ones, as well as to deliver justice for what has actually been performed. I have self-confidence that the excellent individuals at NASA are going to carry out whatever required to proceed our mission properly and also return our team safely and securely at the correct time. And I miss each one of you very much. I can not exist along with you in person, and our company have a long way to head to finish our mission, but be particular that my heart is actually along with you, as well as recognize you reside in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last letter ... Fortunately, it is actually been actually a busy week up here. As well as to show that, like our country, we are actually continuing our planned path with service as usual (as much as feasible). Tonight the current add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Area will be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States opportunity), it will definitely dock with our team, at a slot certainly never made use of just before on the nadir side of the Service Component. This brand new component is going to give our team another place to dock a Progress or even Soyuz and are going to supply a large airlock along with two useable hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our team will certainly carry out a few of prior to our company return.The trouble before in dealing with today was insufficient headlines. The concern now is too much. It arrived simultaneously when email was restored, as well as there's inadequate opportunity to read everything! Plus it's also difficult to handle all of it at the same time. But I cherish acquiring it, and I really value the excellent letters of support and also companionship I am receiving.We are actually doing well aboard, obtaining our work done, and also discussing things. Last night our experts possessed a long dialogue over supper concerning the importance of these celebrations, the achievable actions to follow, and what must be actually carried out. After supper, Michael made a point of telling me that every email he obtained from buddies in Russia stated particularly to tell me how sorry they were that this taken place, extending their condolences, and talking to exactly how I was doing. Vladimir taught me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Urban area. (Both the Russian and also the English phrases are a lot too long to verbalize easily.) Extremely kind folks.For the last 2 times, the Russian MCC has sufficed to send live broadcasts of radio headlines regarding the activity and also associated tales, to make sure I was effectively updated. Every expert who has actually started the line to go over an operation or a complication contends some aspect expanded introductions to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that because of the big day of remembrance in the US, all the time folks had been bringing blossoms as well as lining all the walls of the United States embassy in Moscow, as well as this evening they were lighting candle lights in the street outside the consular office. Just how the planet has actually altered.People all over seem to be to identify the senselessness as well as scary within this assault. And also the significant reduction. Moscow has coped with these kind of issues in the last handful of years along with condo and subway battles, so they are as restless to get rid of this risk as our team are. But the bottom collection is that there are really good individuals anywhere who wish to reside in tranquility. I read that a kid talked to, "The United States is thus good to various other nations, our company consistently aid everybody, exactly how can they detest us a great deal?".I wish the example of participation and also leave that this space capsule and all people in the course display daily are going to one day motivate the rest of the world to operate the same way. They must!Regrettably, our experts will not be actually taking flight over the United States while individuals are igniting candle lights. Don't know if our team could possibly find that anyhow. We carried out, nevertheless, observe a very uncommon as well as beautiful view a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our team were eclipsing it and it emerged concerning three minutes after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunshine hit our station, so it was still in the dark. It appeared like a sizable comet along with a directly, wide rear silhouetted versus the dark planet below. In spite of some negative lighting fixtures for a while as the sunshine struck our home window at a reduced angle, I managed some video of it as initially our company passed the rocket, and afterwards viewed it begin to mesmerize as it acquired elevation and rate. I filmed till major engine deadline and enhancer splitting up took place equally we came close to sunrise on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable view in a remarkable week ...Lifestyle happens, also precede. Our company are actually listed here to stay ... Frank.